I haven’t written here in months. However, I’ve continued to run. This morning, I ran for 3 miles. From my previous posts, you know that I like long runs. Well, this was one of those. I took a new route. I ran alongside a beach where the waves pounded and the smell of the seaweed was strong.
A long run gives you a long time to think about a lot of things. I also listened to a podcast while I ran and the interviewer talked about how women get all hung up in being something for everyone but themselves. It made me think about regrets. Moreover, as we get older we spend a lot of time thinking about what we call “bad choices.” We look at them on our 65-inch HD flat-screen TV of the past. Everything is clear and crisp. Usually, some details are warped because no one can remember every single detail of their lives.
Looking back and forgiving
In looking back, we see sharply how we’ve failed. The areas we focus on maybe spiritual, mental or even physical. Maybe we’ve failed in relationships. This area tends to be the biggest one. How do we handle forgiveness in these situations? Do we extend mercy to the one who has hurt us? Or do we hold their feet to the fire and let them pay for everything that they’ve done to us?
In Matthew 6, Jesus said, “You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. (Matt 6:15 Msg) Galatians 6:1(Msg) says, “If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out.” In Ephesians, Paul says it succinctly. “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph. 4:31 Msg)
No doubt a lot of us would agree that the hardest person to forgive is the person in the mirror, you. You think of the things you’ve done in your past and you feel horrible about them. So you go to God with a list of these mistakes and you pour your heart out to Him. You ask Him for forgiveness and you know and absolutely believe He’s forgiven you. And yet, you don’t feel it! You keep rehearsing the mistakes in your mind and bashing your head against a wall. Your family and the people around you may feel the effects of your unforgiveness towards yourself in the way you “act out.” (Yes, acting out is not behavior reserved only for children.)
The matter of unforgiveness
I read an article once where a guy who had been in prison said to his friend, a very learned and Christian man, “You must think you’re better than God!” To which his friend replied indignantly, “No, I do not.” Then he said to his friend, “Then how is it God could forgive you for what you did and you can’t forgive yourself?” Doesn’t that say it all?
By no means am I suggesting that the matter of forgiveness is easy. It isn’t. For the forgiver or the forgiven. Unforgiveness is a chain tied to your legs with a two-ton ball on the other end. I read this quote by Lewis B. Smedes recently, “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
Go ahead and do yourself a favor. Forgive.

Photo courtesy Gift Habeshaw, Unsplash
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